Feminism, a concept often misunderstood for hating all men or invalidating their rights. Somehow, it became a taboo in Pakistan. Even in the 21st century, when I tell someone that I am a feminist, I am usually greeted with surprised or mildly disgusted expressions, with an often sarcastic comment wishing me “good luck”.
Due to these responses, women started to practise feminism in secret, afraid to voice it out due to the reactions they may receive. In a country where women receive death and rape threats simply for attending the yearly Aurat March and even for merely showing support online, as revealed by an article by the BBC, women are forced to hide their perspective and practise feminism behind the curtain.
Feminism, in conservative circles, grew in subtle actions, such as changing the way you wear your hair. Instead of wearing it in a tight braid, girls switched to a ponytail to allow their hair to flow freely because that was their choice. Repurposed dupattas involve wearing a dupatta not to please society or hide from the male gaze, but in a style that feels personal, such as the classic shoulder drape or the 2016 style of wrapping a scarf tightly around the neck. Wearing their Nano’s white chaddar not because they were expected and ordered to do so, but rather to feel close to their Nano. It was by these small acts that women grew courage and became more determined to fight for their rights. In tribal communities, women switch from a khaddar chaddar to a lighter, more feminine one that they feel more comfortable draping and choose to wear voluntarily, rather than being forced to do so.
Feminism Behind the Curtain
In conservative homes, women are introduced to feminism as Yahudi sazish, manipulating the teachings of Islam to support their claims. This caused women to truly understand feminism at a later age. Somewhere around their teen years, they were introduced to what feminism actually stood for — achieving equal rights, which ignited a passion within them. All the hatred and resentment they felt, the hypocrisy, and the unfair treatment were a source of motivation for them to work towards bringing a change.
The hidden journals filled with rushed, messy scribbles of ink hold words that express the yearning your heart holds to be considered equal, to be feared and not brushed aside, and to be able to avail the same opportunities as your brothers. The poems and paragraphs are full of confusion about why they are discriminated against purely based on biological differences and not based on their ability, talent, or hard work. It was their way of defying the norms.
Defiance isn’t always meant to be a protest; it doesn’t have to be loud to make a statement. Sometimes, taking a stand, saying no, or simply setting boundaries is a way of practising feminism.
