Dowry is a centuries-old tradition that used to be persistent in many parts of the world. For a long time, it was considered compensation for marrying off your daughter, since daughters were considered a burden. Today, the world may have moved on from this ridiculous culture; however, countries like Pakistan and India are stuck in this part of history. Even though the purpose of a dowry today is not compensation, the burden and toll of it on the bride’s family remain the same.
The Economic and Emotional Impact of Dowry
In the modern era, a dowry is given to brides to secure their marriage. This concept appeals to some, while others find it nothing but an obtuse tradition. There is no doubt that parents today give dowries to their daughters with perfectly good intentions so that they have an easy life ahead. It may seem perfectly okay when viewed from this angle; however, when we get into the basics of this tradition, parents are normally expected to send some kind of furniture with their daughters. This doesn’t make sense, as it is unclear how that is going to secure a marriage. Moreover, the situation worsens when demands are made from the groom’s side of the family for things like cars or motorcycles. This then becomes a way to exploit the girl’s family in our society.
Dowry is not hated for a single reason, but several unwanted consequences result from this tradition. One such problem is the concept of comparison in our society. People, rather than thinking about what is best for their daughters, start comparing their dowry with what others have given or received. This problem goes both ways—from the bride’s side of the family and the groom’s side of the family, too. From the bride’s side, a complex form within the minds of either the bride or her family is that they should give some lavish dowry that is better than what others have given. From the groom’s side, families often exploit the other family in the name of respect, saying, “What would society say if they received any less dowry than what others gave?”
This tradition takes an economic toll on families, especially middle-class and lower-class families, who find it best to take heavy loans to give dowries to their daughters and then become burdened and trapped under these loans forever. Moreover, if one daughter gets a lavish dowry, or at least a dowry, it is normal for the rest to expect the same for themselves, leading the families into endless debt cycles.
Apart from the economic problems faced by families, the psychological and emotional trauma is a separate issue. Daughters are raised as future liabilities in many households, and it takes a toll on them when they see their parents saving money their entire lives for their dowry. What gets compromised the most in this saving process is the education of these women. We often hear lines like, “Itna padha likha kar ke kya karoge? Inka jahez akatha karo.” This makes the women feel like a burden, and they lose their sense of dignity, feeling like they have burdened their parents their entire lives.
The Role of Media and the Way Forward
The families who can’t afford dowries and surrender to their fate, or the ones who simply back off from this ridiculous tradition, face harsh consequences at the hands of society. Women get to hear cruel taunts from either their husbands or in-laws; a very large majority are also subjected to violence and abuse, just because either the groom’s side of the family didn’t receive a dowry or simply because their demands were not met. This leads to severe mental health issues for the women in our society.
The media plays a big role in promoting this culture. From glorifying lavish dowries in drama serials to celebrities showing off their dowries while advocating for women’s rights, this creates a paradox and confuses the audience about whether to be influenced by or condemn such traditions. Social media and its people have the power to change this culture and target it on a grassroots level if they start making content more responsibly rather than just for entertainment purposes.
Whatever the purpose or intention behind this tradition may be, the fact that it is a burden on a vast majority of families cannot be changed, and it is high time that we as a society first accept that this tradition is a problem and then act to deter the dowry culture. One way of doing so is educating our youth, and especially men, about rejecting dowry as a status symbol, while also teaching women that their worth does not lie in some furniture pieces or a motorcycle given in dowry. By nurturing a society of equality and dignity, we can enable people to place a higher value on their character than their material belongings. Additionally, encouraging candid conversations about the detrimental effects of dowries can encourage more families to abandon this outdated custom and adopt modern ideals.